Still Waiting

Thursday, March 27, 2008

hi everyone im back again! hehehe.. this time as the status of a relief teacher! =D *teeth shines through smile*

i'm partially glad and partially sad. well, let me elaborate.

i'm glad because my wish came true, though it seemed to have taken some time, and also, i'm in a familiar environment that i love. i'm oso glad cos the pay is much higher than in ISS, (=x) and also because i have something new on my resume now, and i can gain experience that some cant. =)

but...(there's always a but.) i feel lost. i don't know why, maybe because it doesn't feel as friendly as when i was a student. and standing in the shoes of the teacher, i realise that things are not so perfect and we are not as perfect as how the students percieve us to be. and this feels really scary. though i'm taking only sec 1e4 and 1e5 as my science classes and 2A1 as my maths class (very little hor) but i feel drained everyday. well, could be due to all the shouting in the class. (LOL)

so far i have only seen 1e5 and 2a1, and i like both classes a lot. hehe. can you imagine? 1e5 is naughtier than 2a1. or maybe, around the same lah, it's just my different expectations of the 2 classes. i actually expected sec 1s to be more afraid of the teacher and be quieter in class. turns out that this is the perception of girls(me) and this applies only to girls(the sec 1 girls.)

anyway, i'm still wondering if teaching is my calling. maybe this is just the beginning so it feels kind of hard for me, so i do seem like i'm paranoid right? haha.

i'm picking up 2T9 for emaths starting from next week, and 2a3 for PCCG/CME lesson. i should start getting paranoid! sigh~ 2a1 is a nice class, but unfortunately they seem to like chatting more than listening to me talk. i was very disappointed with them today cos they are making too much noise, and i cant reach out to some of them. they just close themselves up in a shell and i don't know how to open it up. i saw a qoute on ms sim's table:

A teacher
is someone who
reach out a hand
open minds
and touch their heart.

sooo true. but how to do that you tell me? unless the student likes you right? but how do you make them like you without them bullying you/ climbing over your head? i want only simple things:

1) listen in my class. (that is the way to learn)
2) respect me.

getting respect is difficult. i'm still thinking of ways to get them. so just a little note to all my friends who are students, respect your teacher(don't try to challenge them!) and keep quiet. even short convo exchange like "did you hear what the teacher said?" is NOISE to us. (i mean really.) imagine at the same point of time, 10 other students are doing the same thing and the rest are either stoning, listening in class, chit chatting, screaming across the class, walking around to pass things, is this NOISE now? and you can be sure, the teacher will catch you as talking and he/she wouldn't think/consider the fact that they are actually asking some questions. so yes, any questions please raise up your hand and ask, even if its silly. would you rather risk getting caught for talking OR let the teacher nag at you that you weren't listening? i know lah, unfair to the students, but being a teacher is really difficult.

for anyone in ISS, i'm on leave DUE TO FAMILY MATTERS. please cooperate. =)

-when are you coming back? ;